What Parents and Adults Need to Know
Children with attention difficulties are not doing it on purpose. They are not being rude when they forget. They are not being defiant when they do not follow instructions. Their brains are using more energy just to stay regulated.
What they need is not punishment, but understanding.
What helps:
Give instructions one at a time
Use visual cues and reminders
Break tasks into smaller steps
Create daily routines to reduce decision fatigue
Support instead of shame
Praise effort, not just results
And most importantly, ask them how their mind works. Let them speak. Let them explain. Listening can do more than lecturing ever will.
From an Islamic Lens
Our faith never shames struggle. There is no verse in the Qur’an that condemns forgetfulness. There is no hadith that mocks inattention.
What Islam honors is sincerity. Trying. Returning. Holding yourself accountable without cruelty.
The Qur’an reminds us:
لَا يُكَلِّفُ ٱللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا
“Allah does not burden a soul beyond what it can bear.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:286)
Even if your child struggles to pay attention in salah or sit still during study, Allah knows their effort. The Prophet ﷺ gently corrected companions who made mistakes. He was never humiliated. He never pushed people beyond their capacity.
Reward in Islam is not based on perfection. It is based on intention.
What Support Might Look Like
There is no one path. Some families choose diagnosis and treatment plans. Others begin with therapy, coaching, or simple changes in routine.
Support can include:
Behavior therapy or skills coaching
Accommodations at school for extra time or clarity
Mental health counseling
Parenting strategies rooted in compassion
Du’a and emotional support from trusted mentors
Building self-esteem through their strengths, not just their struggles
What matters most is this: your child knows you are on their side.
Final Reflection
Your child is not lazy.
Your teen is not broken.
They are navigating a world that often misunderstands how their mind works. Even when it seems like they are distracted or disconnected, they are trying in ways that may not be visible.
They are carrying more than they can always express… and they need compassion, not criticism.
They are not a burden.
They are worthy of love, understanding, and support.
With the right care, they can grow into confidence.
With the right guidance, they can discover their strengths.
And with the right tools, they will not only cope… they will thrive, InshaAllah.
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). What Is ADHD?
Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). (2023). ADHD in Children. Retrieved from: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/facts.html
Barkley, R. A. (2013). Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide for Parents (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
Van der Kolk, B. (2015). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books.
Qur’an 2:286 – Surah Al-Baqarah
Sahih al-Bukhari and Sahih Muslim