When You Can’t Stop, A Human Look at Addiction and How It Hides in Everyday Life
Addiction doesn’t always look like a crisis. Sometimes, it wears the face of a high achiever, a tired student, a caring friend. It doesn’t always destroy lives overnight. Sometimes it quietly chips away at joy, focus, peace, or self-worth.
It can be hidden in a morning routine, disguised as self-care. It can sound like “I need this to get through the day.” It can feel like the only thing keeping you together, even as it pulls you apart.
Addiction is not just about drugs or alcohol. It’s about anything that takes control of your mind, body, or spirit. Anything you turn to over and over again, even when it hurts you. Anything that becomes your way of surviving pain you don’t know how to face.
What Addiction Really Means
Addiction is not always about pleasure. Often, it is about relief. Relief from fear, sadness, shame, loneliness, or anger. The habit may start small, but over time, it becomes the only way a person knows how to cope.
When your brain starts to believe this thing is necessary for you to feel okay, it becomes more than a habit. It becomes a dependency.
Physically or emotionally, you feel like you need it. And that’s what makes addiction so difficult. Because deep down, most people know it’s harming them. But they also feel like they cannot stop.
The question is not always, “Why the addiction?”
Often, it is, “Why the pain?”
Types of Addiction We Don’t Talk About Enough
Addiction wears many faces. Some are loud and destructive. Others are quiet, normalized, and praised. A person can be in deep pain, and no one around them would know. That’s why naming these patterns matters.
Substance-Based Addictions
Some addictions involve chemicals that alter the way the brain works. They bring quick relief but can lead to long-term damage.
You may see this in:
Alcohol used to escape stress or emotional pain
Cigarettes or vapes to manage anxiety
Drugs, whether recreational or prescription, used beyond their purpose
Caffeine consumed excessively just to feel functional
Even when these substances start off feeling harmless, they can grow into something a person cannot go without.
Behavioral Addictions
Other addictions are based on repeated actions, not substances. These habits release dopamine in the brain and are often used to avoid difficult emotions or situations.
You might notice:
Gambling that began as a game but now causes stress or secrecy
Pornography that interferes with relationships and self-worth
Compulsive shopping to feel better temporarily
Binge eating or strict food control tied to emotional patterns
Excessive gaming or streaming that pushes away real responsibilities
At first, these behaviors seem manageable. But when they start affecting relationships, self-image, or health, they become harder to ignore.
Emotional and Relational Addictions
Sometimes, the addiction is not to a substance or a screen, but to a feeling or a person. Emotional needs can become so unmet, we start depending on others to feel whole.
This can show up through:
Seeking constant validation or attention
Staying in painful relationships out of fear of being alone
People-pleasing to the point of exhaustion
Letting someone else’s presence or approval determine your peace
These patterns often come from old wounds. They are attempts to avoid rejection, shame, or abandonment.
Digital and Tech Addictions
In today’s world, many addictions live in our phones. They hide in habits that seem harmless but gradually consume hours of time and mental space.
You may recognize this in:
Compulsive scrolling when you feel stressed or bored
Obsessing over likes, comments, and social image
Feeling anxious or incomplete without your phone nearby
Using content to distract yourself from your thoughts or emotions
While technology is not bad in itself, the way we use it can either connect us to life or numb us from it.
Why We Struggle to Speak About It
Addiction is often covered in silence. People are afraid to admit they’re struggling because they fear being judged or misunderstood. In some communities, especially faith-based ones, the shame can be overwhelming.
But hiding does not heal. And struggle does not mean someone is bad. It means they are human.
Most people do not want to be addicted. They want to stop. They want to feel whole again. They just do not know how.
When addiction becomes the only tool someone has to cope, it takes more than willpower to let it go. It takes safety. Support. Honesty. And sometimes, starting over more than once.
What Islam Teaches About Compulsion and Healing
Islam never demands perfection. It offers mercy. It teaches us to seek balance, to guard our hearts, and to return - again and again - no matter how far we feel we’ve gone.
The Qur’an reminds us:
وَكُلُوا وَاشْرَبُوا وَلَا تُسْرِفُوا
“Eat and drink, but do not be excessive.”
(Surah Al-A’raf, 7:31)
This is not just about food. It is a way of life. A reminder that anything - even good things - can become harmful when taken to an extreme.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Every son of Adam sins, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.”
(Sunan al-Tirmidhi)
Mistakes are not the end of your story. They are part of being human. The door to healing is always open. And Allah sees the intention behind every effort — even when the effort feels small.
What Healing Might Look Like
Healing from addiction is not about punishment. It is about rebuilding a life that no longer needs the addiction to survive.
That may include:
Speaking to a therapist to uncover the root of the pain
Finding a support group or safe community
Slowly replacing destructive habits with nourishing ones
Learning emotional regulation through breathwork, du’a, journaling, or exercise
Exploring spiritual connection that is compassionate, not fear-based
Creating space to feel emotions instead of avoiding them
Healing does not mean you never struggle again. It means you keep choosing to come back to yourself … with gentleness, not shame.
Final Reflection
If you are living with addiction, know this:
You are not too far gone.
You are not dirty, broken, or unloved.
You are a human being who has been trying to survive.
And maybe you didn’t have the tools you needed before.
But now, there is space to learn them. There is space to return.
To faith. To heal. To a version of yourself that feels whole again.
Allah sees your effort. He knows your silence. He hears the du’a you cannot even form into words.
اللَّهُ لَا إِلَٰهَ إِلَّا هُوَ الْحَيُّ الْقَيُّومُ
“Allah — there is no deity except Him, the Ever-Living, the Sustainer of all existence…”
(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:255)
You are not alone in this.
Not now. Not ever.
References
American Psychological Association. Addiction. https://www.apa.org/topics/substance-use-abuse-addiction
National Institute on Drug Abuse. Understanding Drug Use and Addiction. https://nida.nih.gov/publications/drugfacts/understanding-drug-use-addiction
Gabor Maté. In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. Knopf Canada, 2008.
Qur’an 7:31 – Surah Al-A’raf
Qur’an 2:255 – Surah Al-Baqarah (Ayat al-Kursi)
Sunan al-Tirmidhi – Hadith on repentance